When former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete rose from his chair and headed toward the podium to give his keynote speech at the Autism Alliance of Michigan’s annual Michigan Shines for Autism Gala, Peete’s autistic teenage son R.J. smiled at my husband and gave him a fist bump as if to say, “My dad’s got this.”

And Peete did. From his opening words, Peete held the audience captive as he took us on the twisting, winding and uncertain journey that is too often familiar for parents of autistic children.

Peete was cool, composed and tempered his story, offering just the right amount of humor and candor, but there was absolutely no sugar-coating the gut-wrenching impact of the words a therapist hit him and his wife Holly with when R.J. was only 3 years old:

She said that R.J. would never mainstream school.

She said R.J. would never speak.

And she said that he and Holly should probably resign themselves to the fact that R.J. would never say, “I love you.”

Sitting mere steps away from the podium where Peete spoke were the parents of Jay Granger. Like the Peetes, the Grangers also know what many parents of autistic children have since learned: You will be told your autistic children will not be able to do something, and then you will celebrate when they defy expectation.

That’s what happened one night at Mason High School in Michigan during a game against DeWitt. Mason varsity football coach Jerry Van Havel sent Jay Granger, who is autistic, onto the field with a special request: Let Granger run a few steps and then stop.

But DeWitt’s defense went a step further and allowed Jay to run the ball in for a touchdown, helping his lifelong dream come true.

“I don’t score touchdowns in football,” Granger told WLNS-TV for the station’s Player of the Week feature. “I really don’t have that much talent in the sport … (but) it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in my athletic career.”

Mason High quarterback Jarrett Van Havel, son of the head coach, has been Jay’s close friend since first grade. Jay has said that Jarrett pushes him in the classroom as well as in sports.

In turn, Jarrett credits Jay for supporting the team with his infectious positive attitude.

Together, Jay, Jarrett and Coach Van Havel were the recipients of the 2015 Autism Alliance of Michigan’s Courage Award.

This particular brand of fellowship – which is unique to team sports, particularly football – made it abundantly clear to me that autism affects everyone.

Not just those who live with it.

And we all have a responsibility – and the power – to affect the landscape.

How cool would it be if our schools were filled with kids like Jarrett?

And if every night they went home to parents like Coach Van Havel?

We can do this by raising our children to be more tolerant of the challenges their autistic peers face, and we can do this by offering empathy and support – no matter how small – to the parents of autistic children.

By the way, R.J. Peete attends a mainstream high school – and rides the city bus to get there. He speaks just fine. And every single day, he looks his parents in the eyes and tells them, “I love you.”

My husband, Scott, played alongside Rodney Peete with the Lions and was moved by his former teammate’s speech, especially the “I love you” part. I will never forget Peete’s response, which he took from former Lions special teams coach Frank Gansz:

“Celebrate the small wins.’ Because they matter … and they’re important.”

Courtney Conover is a mom of two and the wife of former Detroit Lions offensive lineman and current Heads Up Football Ambassador Scott Conover. She has more Legos and NFL memorabilia lying around her home than she knows what to do with. She is also a certified yoga instructor and a contributing writer to the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. She blogs at The Brown Girl with Long Hair (http://www.thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com), over-shares on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/thebrowngirlwithlonghair) and Instagram (https://instagram.com/officialcourtneyconover)

 

Group photo courtesy LK Photographic

Jay Granger, Jarrett Van Havel and Jerry Van Havel receive the 2015 Autism Alliance of Michigan’s Courage Award. From left are Detroit Lions defensive end Ziggy Ansah, R.J. Peete, former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete, Jerry Van Havel, Jarrett Van Havel, Jay Granger, former Detroit Lions offensive lineman Scott Conover, Detroit Lions head coach Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions running back Joique Bell and Detroit sports anchor Dan Miller.