If your child hates change, here’s how you can help

By Janis Meredith | Posted 11/2/2016

Accepting change is never easy. Often when change occurs, humans look for the faults in others and minimize their own. Kids exhibit these same tendencies, which makes it more difficult for them to improve.

If your child wants to see positive change, then he must become a better player himself. So instead looking for other players to throw passes to, he can work with the receivers that are currently on the team.

If you want more out of life, you must become more, according to author John Maxwell in his book Sometimes You Win–Sometimes You Learn. However, sometimes changing yourself seems overwhelming. The author indicates that you should start small.

Your child needs to learn that trying to change others is futile. No one can change another person. Your child will not be able to change the coach, his teammates, the officials, or the other sports parents.

If your child thinks he needs to change others in order for his circumstances to improve, he will be extremely disappointed. The more your child tries to change others, the more he will be focusing on things that he cannot control and will be neglecting the things he can control.

What’s the solution?

Let your child see that the best way to change a frustrating situation–a frustrating teammate, a coach who ignores him, not enough playing time–is to change his own attitude. That is completely within his control. Maxwell explains:

“In controlling my own attitude and choosing to think correctly, I can minimize the negative effects of those around me who have bad attitudes. I can stop taking it personally when someone in my life won’t change. I can see opportunities where I once saw obstacles. And the best news is that,” as author and speaker Wayne Dyer says, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change.”

Change is hard for adults and children alike. However, having a conversation with your child can help them learn to focus on what they can control, instead of stressing about what others are doing. Every child has to learn that if they want to change their situation, the change must begin with themselves. Learning this lesson sooner, rather than later, will help your child overcome difficult experiences in life. Remind them, it’s okay that change comes in small doses and it certainly doesn’t need to happen all at once.

Baby steps. Little victories. That’s the change that will truly last.


Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach’s wife, writes a sports parenting blog called jbmthinks.com. Her new book 11 Habits for Happy and Positive Sports Parents is on Amazon.