Recently, a friend called me for advice regarding how to approach his son’s coach to inquire about a lack of playing time. In my friend’s particular situation, his son isn’t playing at all. On occasion, his son has received playing time when the outcome of a game has already been decided.

Given the situation, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a player or parent to ask the question. However, I firmly believe it’s important to do so at the right time and place, and in an appropriate manner.

I believe that a coach who isn’t playing someone must have a reason and they should be willing to communicate the reason. And it shouldn’t matter what level of youth sports we’re talking about, from tee ball to varsity.

Especially for players in youth, elementary and middle school who aren’t comfortable approaching the coach, it is absolutely acceptable for the parent to do so. I believe once a player reaches the high school level, it’s their responsibility to determine why he isn’t playing. It’s a responsibility that comes along with the honor of being a high school athlete.

Whether you are the parent or player asking, you should always ask to meet with the coach at a time that is convenient for both parties. In other words, don’t confront the coach unexpectedly right after a game or practice. The coach won’t be prepared to answer and won’t like that they are being ambushed, which is how your question will come across no matter how polite you are.

Also, make sure you exercise some patience and make sure you don’t ask for this meeting after just a game or two. I’d suggest waiting until at least three games have gone by and then you can determine if you want to move forward with the process.

If you decide to meet with the coach, then I suggest initially asking what needs to be done in order to gain more playing time. Most coaches will respond positively and provide you with specific suggestions.

Ultimately, coaches usually have good reasons why they don’t play athletes — skill level, poor practice habits, don’t know the plays, etc. — so determining the exact reason will help you to decide the next step.

Finding out why a player isn’t playing much, or at all, is perfectly acceptable.

Just be sure that you go about it the right way.

Jon Buzby has been involved in and writing about youth sports for the past 30 years, originally as a coach and board member with his now-adult son and most recently "just as a dad" with his 8- and 10-year-old sons. Jon is an award-winning writer and his latest book, “Not an Expert, Just a Dad … In this Crazy Game Called Life,” is available on Amazon. Send comments or future blog topics you'd like to see to JonBuzby@hotmail.com and follow him @YouthSportsBuzz on Twitter.