Your child didn't make the all-star team? That's OK

By Jon Buzby | Posted 6/16/2017

The votes are in, the phone calls made, and your son or daughter never gets one. And that means he or she wasn’t selected for the all-star team.

The “good” news is no more practices, games or team functions as your summer vacation begins.

However, the bad news is that having your son or daughter shunned from an all-star team is hard to swallow -- often more so for the parents than the players themselves.

Around the country, all-star teams for spring sports are taking shape while football all-star games, often pitting one league, county or state against another, are preparing to kick into high gear.

As parents, we all want our kids to be the best. Ask any parents and they’ll tell you if they had their way, their children would get perfect grades in school, have the best manners in every social situation and excel in every sport they play.

But that’s just not realistic. So the sting we feel when our kids are let down in any facet of life radiates through us like no other feeling. And all-star teams are no different.

So what do we do as parents?

The first thing is to not make a big deal about it before it is announced. The more attention we pay to it, the bigger the disappointment for us and our child should they not make it. In fact, the child may be even more shattered than they would have been had we, as parents, not harped on its importance.

Secondly, if you thought your child had a chance, it means he probably was on the fence come selection time. Remind them about this fact, and even suggest that you go support the team to see just how good the players are and what level of skill they need in order to make the team next year.

Lastly, never publicly blame league politics on the all-star selection decisions. Even if you truly believe a child was selected only because of a parent’s role in the league, this sends the wrong message to your child that isn’t necessary at such a young age.

All-star selections can be the highlight of the season for a very select few. But for most players, they will have to face the reality that although they are good, they just aren’t good enough to be an all-star. And that’s OK. As parents, we need to remember that too.  

MORE: The USA Football Youth Football Parents 101 course, with Christine and Mike Golic

Jon Buzby has been involved in and writing about youth sports for the past 30 years, originally as a coach and board member with his now-adult son and most recently "just as a dad" with his 8- and 10-year-old sons. Jon is an award-winning writer and his latest book, “Not an Expert, Just a Dad … In this Crazy Game Called Life,” is available on Amazon. Send comments or future blog topics you'd like to see to and follow him @YouthSportsBuzz on Twitter.