Strong coach-athlete relationships are well-documented to be essential features of successful sports performance and individual player and coach well-being.

Whether as an athlete or a coach, you should be able to pinpoint great relationships you have been involved in. They are memorable and left an impact. So too are the bad ones.

You probably can also pinpoint times of conflict, disagreement and misunderstanding within some of your relationships. Can you remember the reasons for the disputes? Do you remember how they were resolved, or even if they were resolved? What happened as a result?

Conflicts are an inevitable feature of any relationship. Without resolution, conflict can fester and compound already tense relationships. It can negatively affect the coach and athlete’s motivation, their ability to learn and develop, the willingness to lead and listen. Critically, it also can affect self-confidence. In extreme cases it can increase the risk of injury and drop-out. 

What is not inevitable is a positive outcome or resolution. Finding a way to manage, navigate and resolve conflicts does not come easily. Coaches need to have strategies in place and be ready to execute them when situations call for it.

There are various strategies that can be used to anticipate and manage conflict.  Here are eight tips to help you handle coach-athlete conflicts:

Anticipate conflicts before they arise. The preseason team meeting with athletes and parents is great opportunity to flag potential conflicts. Giving specific conflicts a label such as "playing time" will allow you to come up with a plan to resolve and dissolve conflicts before they take on a life of their own.

Establish clear and open channels of communication. Conflict provides an opportunity for an open exchange of information that would have not been shared otherwise. It also presents a chance to talk about what is really going on. Remember communication is two-way. Any communication shared must be heard and respected before deciding how to manage it.

Be objective. Conflict should not be taken personally. In order to remain objective, you may have to occupy a different role, perhaps that of a conduit, facilitator or counselor. This will allow you to focus on the issues at hand. In extreme cases you may have to bring in someone else to occupy these roles.

Demonstrate empathy. Work to understand the player's point of view. Step into their shoes and view this from their perspective. Identify specifically their issue and their needs and attempt to integrate this into the solution finding.

Have difficult conversations. This requires enhanced social skills challenging you to consider the feelings and perceptions of others. Be prepared to have honest conversations. Know what you would like to achieve and what you would be prepared to settle for.

Be solution-focused. Conflict can initiate a productive discussion about the problem itself. It presents an opportunity to consider new strategies from many different perspectives. Rather than the coach and player being in opposition, try to find a solution that both sides can strive together toward. 

Don't react immediately. Conflicts are rarely settled in the heat of the moment. Take time out to reflect. Conflicts are best resolved when emotions are settled down and all parties can be objective.

Utilize hindsight. Think back to your own experiences of conflicts that were resolved. They might already provide great wisdom that you can use. What was it that happened that you could use as a strategy? Now think about those that were not resolved. With the benefit of hindsight, what would you have liked to have happened instead? If useful, add this strategy to your toolbox.

Remember that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. It can strengthen relationships and increase mutual trust. It presents an opportunity to talk, listen, understand and resolve. It can bring us closer and strengthen the coach-athlete relationship.

Sarah McQuade is an independent coach education consultant, owner and director of e.t.c coaching consultants and co-director with The Coach Learning Group. To learn more about accessing how-to coach skills workshops click the Coaching Skills button at www.etcoachingconsultants.com.