If you are looking to get better results out of a player, the words you choose really matter. Words are powerful. How, and what words you use, will affect the results you will experience.

When communicating with your team, you can do so using an affirmative or a negative statement.

A quick example:

Affirmative statement: Catch the ball.

Negative statement: Don’t drop the ball.

Can you feel the difference? Your mind can.

Most people, including coaches, communicate using a negative statement. This is a problem because the mind will focus on the negative and begin to build a feeling around it.

What the mind focuses on is key.

Which of these would you rather have your star Quarterback focusing on?

• Completing a pass
• Throwing an interception

When you say, “go out there and complete a pass,” this is an affirmative statement. When you say “don’t throw an interception,” this is a negative statement.

If you are talking to a player using a negative statement, the mind will focus on that statement and attaches a feeling to it. So when you say “don’t throw an interception,” your QB’s mind connects with pain, embarrassment, anger, etc., to your negative statement. Now they are focusing on exactly what you do not want them focusing on, and are full of negative feelings.

This is a recipe for achieving less than desired results.

A negative statement is often started with the dreaded “D” word, “don’t.”

• Don’t throw an interception.
• Don’t use a spin move.
• Don’t miss any tackles.
• Don’t jump offsides.

The last one makes me laugh. How many times have your said this only to have your team jump offsides? A negative statement is powerful.

I know you are wanting to see better results. So, I have a challenge for you.

Starting now, make an effort to talk in the affirmative. An easy way to try this is to stop using the word “don’t.” Tell your players what your want to them to do, rather than what you do not want them to do.

So your affirmative statements should sound something like this:

• Stay onsides.
• Use your rip move.
• Catch the ball.
• Use your hands.
• Be on time to the meeting (no more saying “don’t be late”).

Back to the Quarterback example. When you say, “get out there and complete a pass,” your QB’s mind is attaching a feeling of confidence, success, pleasure, etc. By focusing on this action, combined with the feeling your player now has, is a much better recipe for getting the results you really want.

This is technical work for you and little things matter. One word can make all the difference. Using affirmative language will have your players focusing on what you want, and will attach a positive feeling in their minds about the results you are looking for.

I encourage you to go out a give it a try. You can even practice this work at home with your spouse or your kids.

An affirming statement, plus a positive feeling, is an equation for better success both on and off the field. 

As founder of The Recovering Athlete™, Cletus Coffey teaches and trains coaches, teams, athletes and professionals how to take skills and success learned on the field and apply it to life off the field. As a former defensive back/receiver in the CFL and Arena Football League, and as a first team all- conference football player and a college decathlete at Lewis & Clark College, he faced even bigger challenges once his athletic career was over. By combining his success as a professional athlete and a business/industry expert, he now helps others win at the game of life, not just sports. To connect with Cletus Coffey, email him  info@cletuscoffey.com and listen to his podcast here.