Is there a tough season ahead for your athlete?

There are often signs at the beginning of the season that it could be hard. If you see any of these indicators at the start of the season, beware. Tough times may be ahead.

1. Your child is obsessed with playing time

Of course, kids care how much they get to play. They should care. No player is happy to sit on the bench. But when children are so obsessed with how much they play compared to other players that they lose enthusiasm for the team as a whole, then it’s going to be a long season.

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2. You have very high expectations for your child

Believe in your children, yes. Expect your children to work hard and give their best, yes. But don’t place expectations on your young athletes that they don’t want, like expecting them to live up to your own youth sports performance or hoping they fulfill the dream that you never could.

Kids should be pushed and challenged, but they should not be put on pedestals.

3. You don’t like the coach

If you don’t like the coach, it’s going to be very easy to find something wrong with everything that coach does. It will be easy to blame the coach if your child is struggling or if your child isn’t enjoying the season.

Learning to wipe the slate clean for each coach at the start of every season can help your outlook, but it’s hard to do when you know the coach and don’t like the way that coach runs the team.

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4. Your child doesn’t like the coach

Whenever an athlete goes into the season not liking the coach, it becomes harder to be coachable. Not being coachable turns into a multitude of other problems: lack of a team-first attitude, selfish play, and not following directions, to name a few.

Your children should listen to the coach and treat that coach with respect even if they don’t like the coach, so if they can do that no matter how they feel about the coach, the chances are better for a smooth season.

5. Your child’s role on the team is unclear

I give the coach the responsibility for seeing that all players understand their roles on the team. When my husband coached softball, he always told players at the beginning of the season what their role was on the team, and if it was more of a supporting role, he let them know how they could do more as the season progresses.

If your child’s coach does not explain this, then encourage your child to ask the coach, “Coach, what do you see as my role on the team?” Hopefully the coach will take the time to think it through and give your child a clear answer.

The role may not necessarily be what your children want, but it will give them clarity on what to expect and what they need to do to improve their situation.

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6. The coach doesn’t communicate well

I wish all coaches would understand how important it is for them to clearly and frequently communicate with parents. I’ve known some who do an excellent job, but most of the ones my kids had were severely lacking in communication skills. I found it extremely frustrating.

If your child’s coach doesn’t do a good job of communicating, then maybe a little prodding from you or even an offer to help with communication will resolve the issue.

7. The coach’s child is competing for your child’s position

No matter how you look at it, this is a tough one. Even if the coach’s child really is the better choice, it will probably be perceived as favoritism. And if your child is better, and the coach’s child still gets the spot, then it is definitely favoritism. If the coach can be objective and do what’s best for the team, you’ve got a good coach!

After 22 years of being a sports mom, these are the things that often troubled me at the beginning of the season. How about you? What indicators do you see that tell you it could be a very looooong season?

Janis B. Meredith is a life coach for sports parents. She provides resources to help parents raise champions. Learn more about how she can help parents have Less Stress and More Fun in Youth Sports.