While being cut is most painful for the child who doesn’t make the team, making the cut is also difficult for the coach. As a result, some coaches avoid communicating about this topic with players and parents. Coaches should recognize that if they handle the cut process openly, thoughtfully, and respectfully, they will provide important life lessons. By doing this, coaches might also increase the odds that the players they just cut will stay involved in sports.

 

It helps to tell players ahead of time the expectations for tryouts and something about the criteria for selection. These could include skill, size, speed and strength as well as intangibles like coachability, work ethic, potential, commitment and complementary skill sets. If they know the criteria ahead of time, the players will feel the process is fair. This can take some of the sting out for a player who is cut. It can also help players who are cut focus on their next steps rather than feeling mistreated.

RELATED CONTENT: How you can adopt an Olympian's mindset

Are you the parent of a youth, middle school or high school football player who’s looking for more tips or resources? Check out our Parent Guide, Parents 101 course, nutritious recipes and more.

If a player is cut, the coach has an important role in helping that player move on and nurturing any desire the child has to continue in sports. The coach should have an individual meeting with each player who is cut. Tell a player that being cut is not a judgment of them as people, but rather an assessment of their fit with the team based on a brief snapshot during the tryouts. Offer a reminder that the picture can, and probably will, change. Kids’ bodies and minds grow and change. Skills can improve though hard work.

Provide the player with an assessment of current strengths and areas for improvement. Make specific suggestions about steps to get better. Encourage the player to keep trying. Avoid comparing the player to others. If other opportunities to play are available, tell players about them. It’s OK for coaches to admit they might regret cutting the player.

RELATED CONTENT: How you can derive life lessons from watching the Super Bowl or Winter Olympics

When I was in high school, two of my friends were among the last players who were cut from the freshmen basketball team. One of them tried out the next year, barely made the team and went on to play college and professional basketball The other switched to volleyball, competed in that for four years, and is now a successful businesswoman. There are tens of thousands of similar stories. If we encourage kids, give them the room to find their purpose, then they will not only survive being cut, but will learn life lessons that will help them flourish.

The coach should have a similar conversation with parents. Tell parents to encourage, without pressuring, their child to keep on trying. Let parents know that, while being cut is painful, it is an opportunity for their child to learn some important life lessons. Learning to bounce back will help them with future disappointments they are bound to experience.

RELATED CONTENT: Good youth coaches get players into the game

This resource brought to you by Positive Coaching Alliance, a national nonprofit with the mission to provide a positive character building youth sports experience for all. To see this resource and over 2,000 more head to pcadevzone.org!