Four years ago, my younger son Jared was watching his older brother in training camp when he decided that he wanted to give tackle football a shot at the age of five.  My wife Sheryl and I were kind of surprised because, at that time, he was not the sports fanatic that his brother was and had never really expressed a desire to play football but we supported him in his decision, so we signed him up.

Jared went through practice for a couple of days and everything seemed to be okay, but I had a gut feeling something was about to change when I overheard one of the coaches talking to Jared’s group on the field.  The coach was sharing some negative characteristics about the sport like it was “dangerous” and that players get hurt all the time.

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And then he opened the door for kids to walk away from it after he intimidated them with his words.  This coach told the kids “if you want to quit, then it’s okay to quit.”

My jaw dropped, and I was disgusted because I was stunned that these words came out of his mouth.  How could a football coach say those kinds of things? I had a hunch as to what was going to happen next and I was right because three kids went directly to their parents, took off their helmets and didn’t want to play anymore.

A short time later, Jared was in the middle of a drill when he walked over to my wife and said he was done.  When we asked him why, he said because the coach said it was okay to quit. There has to be a good reason to walk away from something, but in this case,  it was clearly because the coach had said the wrong thing and scared the kids.

My wife and I weren’t making a huge deal about it because we both felt that tackle football wasn’t something that Jared was ready for but the circumstances in which it happened was troubling.  That coach should not have used those words with the kids and once the word got around to other coaches and administrators, the guy was not a coach in the program anymore.  A coach, at any level of youth football, needs to choose the right words to speak to kids about any aspect of the sport.

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Today, Jared is a huge football fan and has played flag football the last two years.  He has even expressed a desire to try tackle football again when he gets to middle school.  Some kids are ready for it at different ages and while it seemed like he was not all that comfortable with the equipment four years ago, we have no doubt that he’ll be ready for it in a few years. 

But it was difficult to see him walk away from a challenge that day on the football field and I’ve always wondered what would have happened had that coach not said what he did.  He still may have not wanted to continue, but just like those other three kids, Jared listed to an adult encouraging a child to quit playing football.  Coaches need to choose their words wisely, especially when they’re talking to younger athletes.

Peter is a sports anchor for the CBS Sports Radio Network, FOX News Headlines 24/7 and WCBS 880 Radio in New York.  His son Bradley plays middle school football on Long Island and is a participant in the U.S. National Team program while his younger son Jared plays flag football.   Peter, his wife Sheryl and the boys are busy cheering on the New York Jets when they’re not at a youth football field.