Legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden once said: “The true athlete should have character, not be a character.”

What can parents and coaches do to make sure that student-athletes develop character, rather than become a character?

To start, training begins at home. Parents are in charge of instilling character in their children. Coaches also wield an incredible amount of influence because they spend an inordinate amount of time with the players, especially during the season. Coaches and parents should try to be on the same page while instilling character in their young athletes.

If you want your child to excel and strive to become a champion with character, rather than just being a star player on the field, then parents and coaches need to take the proper actions. As parents and coaches, here are four ways to build character in your student-athlete.

Stress the importance of proper balance in competition, learning and achievement.

When “win at all costs” is a student athlete’s focus, then the potential for a vital lesson is lost. The abilities acquired at a young age, including good sportsmanship and navigating healthy competition, serves a person throughout his or her life, and not just on the field.

Additionally, while athletes must learn the playbook to excel on the field, they must also learn academic course materials. Make sure to share the long-term benefits of academic accomplishment with your athlete. When a parent or coach stresses life achievement as the ultimate goal, not just achievement on the field, the student-athlete gains a better vantage point on life as a whole.

Establish a code of conduct at home and on the field.   

It’s is always easier for student-athletes to cross the line and engage in bad behavior when the lines of proper conduct are blurred. It is up to parents and coaches to establish clear boundaries on what type of behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable.

One way to establish a clear set of expectations is to write down a specific list, which the whole family can sign and agree to uphold. Frame it and hang it on the wall somewhere in the house where everyone can see it and also post a copy in your athlete’s room.

According to charactercounts.org, “The six pillars of character is a framework for teaching good character and is composed of six ethical values (characteristics) everyone can agree upon: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship.”

It’s never too early and always good to begin developing a code of conduct at a young age.

Impose a penalty system with clearly defined consequences for not observing defined character standards.

There must be consequences for inappropriate actions. Clearly define and reiterate to your student-athletes what the penalties are for crossing the line. Choose consequences that will sting those who deviate from the clearly defined expectations. This doesn’t mean physical punishment, but rather, restricting personal freedoms that temporarily inhibit a student athlete’s daily enjoyment.

Punishments could include taking away the car keys or a gaming console (i.e., Xbox, PlayStation, etc.) for a certain predetermined length of time. Alternatively, there is always a boatload of unpleasant chores around the home or locker room that can be assigned.

As a parent you know your child best. Specifically, you know what would diminish your student athlete’s enjoyment. The main thing to remember is to always explain why there are unpleasant consequences for their actions. More importantly, even though you may temporarily restrict their personal freedom, you still love and care for them fully.

Practice character yourself.

You never want the words, “Do as I say, not as I do,” to come out of your mouth.

Character begins with you, and while none of us is perfect, we can live the kind of lives we want our youth to live. You can teach the principles of character. However, like anything else, it’s more about what’s “caught, not taught” that will leave a lasting impact. As you live a life of moral excellence, young athletes will observe your behavior whether they verbally express it or not.

Ultimately, it is up to you to exemplify and instruct your student-athlete to have character, not be a character. It is important to stress balance in life, create a code of conduct, impose a penalty system for when the code is undermined and always practice character yourself to create a model for your children.

The gift of positive influence is the only gift that keeps on giving.

Michelle Hill, the Strong Copy Quarterback at Winning Proof, is a sports and fitness content writer. She writes championship content for pro athletes, coaches, sports agents, sports psychologists, fitness professionals and transformation/success coaches. Her writing includes websites, e-newsletters, e-workbooks, brochures, press releases, blog articles and book development. Let’s call an audible for your next writing project that moves you from the red zone into the end zone.