Two Lies That Many Sports Parents Believe

By Janis Meredith | Posted 11/23/2020

Parents often get sucked into believing things about themselves and their parenting that are not true. That happens because many of us are our own worst critics. When it comes to youth sports, we often second guess our decisions about what’s best for our kids.

We may believe that we are doing a bad job at parenting or that we’re not doing enough for our kids. Those types of lies are sneaky. They tip-toe into your mind and it takes a major mindset change to get them out.

Let’s identify those lies:

Lie #1: I’m a terrible sports parent because I’m not good at sports and don’t know much about them.

If sports are new to you—maybe you didn’t play or had no interest in watching as you grew up—I want to tell you that it’s okay if you are finding it difficult to catch on.

When kids are little, you can get away with not knowing a lot about sports; their games are much less complicated. 

But as your kids get older and more involved, you may feel like you don’t quite measure up to other sports parents because your sports knowledge and skills are lacking.

Honestly, your own sports experience doesn’t matter. You may be a rock-star sports parent who knows everything about the game, or you may not know a thing about the sport your child has chosen to play. The most important thing to remember either way is not how much you teach your kids about sports, it’s for them to reach the end of the day knowing they are loved, supported, and cared for. 

Your kids are not going to look back on these seasons and remember all the amazing things they learned from you about sports. But they will remember how you made them feel. 

Lie #2: I’m a terrible sports parent because I can’t handle my kids not trying their hardest and I tend to get irritated with them.

First of all, I don’t think there’s ever been a parent in the history of the universe who never got irritated with their kids, even in the best of times. But the stress of sports makes parents even edgier.

The problem is not that you get irritated with your kids. You are not a bad parent because you feel irritated. The problem is what you do with that irritation.

When those moments of irritation come, do whatever it takes to stop yourself from over-reacting: give yourself a time-out, take some deep breaths, count to 10–whatever works to keep you from saying or doing things that will damage your own peace of mind and hurt your kids.

You will still blow it, however, and when that happens, the best way to not buy into the lie that “I’m a terrible parent because I blew up at my kids” is to acknowledge your mistake, ask for forgiveness from your kids, and think of what you can do differently next time.

How to Fight the Lies

Parenting is hard. But don’t make it harder on yourself by believing the lies. They will defeat you and leave you with guilt and regret. The best way to fight them is to answer them with the truth.

Lie #1: I’m a terrible sports parent because I’m not good at sports and don’t know much about them.

Truth to fight it: I am doing the best I can and the most important thing for my kids to learn in this season is that I love them, I support them, and I believe in them.

Lie #2: I’m a terrible sports parent because I can’t handle my kids not trying their hardest and I tend to get irritated with them.

Truth to fight it: I love my kids and recognize that it’s easy to get irritated when I don’t think they are working hard enough. They are not trying to irritate me; they are just being kids. I will look for ways to not give in to feelings of irritation and forgive myself when I do.

Parents, don’t let these lies suffocate your joy and burden you with guilt. Your kids don’t believe the lies; neither should you.

Janis Meredith is a family life coach who wants to help all parents raise champions. You can find out more at rcfamilies.com.

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