When You Feel Like a #ParentFail

By Janis Meredith | Posted 12/7/2020

Your #parentfail may or may not shock your athlete, but it still affects how you feel about yourself as a parent.
As a sports mom or dad, perhaps one of these parents fails is familiar:

Getting thrown out of the gym by the referee because you were yelling too loudly and obnoxiously at him or her. #parentfail
Asking your kids questions after a game like: Why didn’t you try harder? #parentfail

Comparing your child’s performance to an older brother or sister: You should be more like them! #parentfail

If that’s you, and if you feel like you failed at being a positive and supportive sports parent, then it’s important for you to maintain a healthy and realistic perspective on parenting mistakes. For some of you, that may mean it’s time for a very clear mindset shift.

Here’s what you need to know about your #parentfail:

Own up to your mistakes.

Admitting it to yourself is the first step. Then apologize to your child if it is needed. Before you can fix a problem or learn from your mistakes, you have to admit you made them.

Turn your #parentfail into a teachable moment. 

Show and tell your child about how to apologize, how to accept responsibility for mistakes, and how to learn from them.

Make a plan for next time you feel a #parentfail coming on.

Pay attention to your triggers so you can know when a #parentfail might be imminent.

Your child doesn’t seem to be trying hard or focusing on their game and it is driving you crazy. Previously, you may have responded by raising your voice and focusing on their lackadaisical attitude and not on the actual reason behind it.

Ask yourself: What do I need to do differently when my child is not trying?

Give Yourself a Break; You Will Make Mistakes

Parenting Author Tim Elmore has this to say about #parentfails:

Let’s drop the perfect expectations. Let’s embrace the fact that failure happens to all of us. In fact, it has to happen in order for us to fully mature.

Let’s embrace risk, and consequences to bad decisions so we know how to handle the tough times ahead. And let’s embrace all our warts and wrinkles — while staying passionate about life. The next generation deserves a healthy leader.

Parents, don’t worry about perfection. Shift your mindset to focus on learning from mistakes, recognizing your triggers, and creating a plan to face those triggers when they come again. Your kids don’t need perfect parents, they need real and honest ones.

Janis Meredith is a family life coach who wants to help parents raise champions. You can find out more at rcfamilies.com.