Is your child struggling? Maybe your child is in a slump, or perhaps feeling unmotivated. I’d like to tell you about one word that can help things improve.

I saw my kids struggle several times through the years as they played. And it wasn’t because they didn’t want to play. They weren’t sure why they wanted to play.

One word can change all that for your young athlete and that word is Purpose.

What does it mean to play with purpose? Best-selling author and behavioral science expert Daniel Pink explains that there are two kinds of purposes.

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Purpose with a Capital P

Playing with Purpose-with-a-capital-P means your children playing for a purpose bigger than themselves. As Pink puts it, “doing something transcendent.”

When your children feel discouraged and question why they are even playing the sport, ask them what is their Big Purpose for playing? Their Big Purpose may simply be to work hard and earn a scholarship for college, or maybe they are passionate about being a positive role model for younger athletes.

Helping your children determine their Big Purpose for playing sports may be an ongoing endeavor. You may have to help them figure it out by asking key questions to make them think about the bigger Why.

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Purpose with a Small P

Playing with Purpose-with-a-small P means getting pleasure in knowing that by merely doing your job you are making a contribution to others, and in the case of your children, to the team.

Smaller Purpose includes things like: building up teammates, encouraging opponents, or helping someone who is less fortunate or skilled.

When my youngest child was a senior in high school, she lost some of her playing time in basketball and was seriously considering quitting the team after the first few weeks. As we discussed this, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I can’t quit, though, Mom. If I do, who will pray with the team before each game?” She knew her Small Purpose was to encourage and build up the team each game. That was the thing that kept her on the team, and she finished the season contributing more to the heart of that team than any other player.

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Help your children find their Small Purpose by asking questions like:

What do you love most about playing?

Tell me about moments when you are having the most fun in the game.

When your kids are little, their purpose, big and little P, is simply to have fun and be with their friends. But the longer your children play sports, the more likely they will be to get to a point where they wonder, why am I playing anyway?

We all ask ourselves the WHY question: Why am I here? What is my purpose in this job?

You need to be able to answer that and so do your kids, in all areas of life. Identifying the Big Purpose and the Smaller Purpose for playing sports will motivate your children to keep working even on days when the motivation has slacked.

Janis B. Meredith is a life coach for sports parents. She provides resources to help parents give their children a positive and growing youth sports experience. Learn more about how she can help parents have Less Stress and More Fun in Youth Sports.