If you want your athlete to grow up to be a leader, not a follower, then you must raise influencers.

Influencers do not follow the crowd, they forge their own path.

Influencers care about helping teammates more than advancing their own agenda.

Influencers see and seize an opportunity to help others; while others are blind or distracted.

Raising an influencer will not just happen by chance; parents must be intentional about raising kids who grow up strong enough to influence others, instead of always giving in to the influence of others.

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If parents would focus on raising influencers as much as they focus on bettering their child’s athletic skills and GPAs, imagine the strong and compassionate leaders that would emerge in the next generation!

How can you, mom and dad, raise influencers? After 30 years of parenting, I’ve gathered a few ideas about the traits that will make your child an influencer.

Influencers are humble

There are a lot of ways to describe humble, but I like this definition: courteously respectful. Being humble does not mean letting everyone walk all over you; it means you don’t have an inflated view of your importance and instead look for ways to help your teammate succeed.

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Humility means you work hard in silence and let success make the noise. The key is helping your child to see that it’s important to be humble on the outside, while remaining confident on the inside.

Influencers are committed

They do not give up when things get hard. They do not give up on the team when they are in a slump. Athletes who truly make a difference show that commitment means sticking with something until the end, no matter how hard the journey.

Influencers also show commitment by their work ethic. If your athletes are truly committed to the team and to the sport, they will put in the work that’s required to help themselves and their team.

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Influencers are trustworthy

Someone who can be trusted is a person who others respect and respond to. Can your athletes be trusted to always back their teammates? To be honest and show integrity even when no one sees them?

Influencers empower others

Today, I would describe my 27-year-old son as an influencer, and one of the reasons why is because one of his goals as an athlete was to look for ways to make his teammates look good. This was especially evident in basketball, as he made key passes to players who were in the perfect position to score.

Another way to empower others is to believe in them. This empowers the teammate to play better. When coaches believe in their players, those players have a sense of confidence that helps them play to their potential.

This works closely with humility because influencers realize the game is not all about them; it’s about the team.

Influencers are authentic

Being authentic means not being afraid to admit your mistakes and weaknesses. It means not pretending to be what you are not. Your child does not have to put up a false front to be respected and liked by teammates. People who are real and genuine are much easier to respect and respond to.

Think of the influencers you know. Not the people with the title of “leader,” but the people who are truly impacting others’ lives. I’m pretty sure they will exhibit these influencer traits.

Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “There are two types of people in this world: followers and leaders.” I want my child to be the one leading, not following. I want my son or daughter to be the one influencing others, not the one being easily persuaded by others.

Janis B. Meredith is a life coach for sports parents. She provides resources to help parents raise champions. Learn more about how she can help parents have Less Stress and More Fun in Youth Sports.