Do you sometimes worry that you are doing too much for your child? Is it possible that you are withholding one of the most important gifts you can give your child … the gift of independence?

Parents of athletes may find it easy to let things slide, to rescue or to pick up the slack for their children because, after all, they are working hard playing sports. But playing sports is a great opportunity for your child to learn independence IF you are willing to let go. Here’s a few ways you can help them grow independent.

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1. Give them time

Teach them the importance of managing their time. Have them set the alarm clock 15 minutes earlier in the morning so they have time to get everything done themselves, without you pushing.

Encourage them to set a schedule for studies after or before practice. Give them deadlines for completing chores, and back off from nagging. Be sure they know the consequences of NOT finishing them. 

2. Give them options

If your children are young, you can provide choices for certain decisions and let them choose. If your children are older, ask them what their options are and help them think through them.

Make the most of every opportunity that allows your children to choose and learn to accept the consequences of that choice. 

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3. Give up perfection

When you give your child a task to do independently, remember that the end result should not be perfection, but effort and completion. Praise them for the good that you see before you make suggestions for improvement.

4. Stop rescuing

This is the big one for sports parents who feel compelled to try to fix things for their children by fighting their battles. Parents who do this are not doing their kids any favors; in fact, they are stunting their emotional growth.

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5. Let them solve their own problems

If you do the hard work for your children, they will not develop problem-solving abilities or grow the confidence they need to figure it out themselves.

6. Let them make mistakes

Let your children mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can do better next time. 

7. Applaud their courage

When your children try a new sport, a new skill or anything new, applaud them, even if they didn’t do it so well. Your encouragement will keep them trying.

Parents, remember, you are the guide, not the servant. It is your job to make your children independent. 

Janis B. Meredith is a parenting coach. This article is an excerpt from her book 11 Habits of Happy and Positive Sports Parents. She provides resources to help parents raise champions. Learn more about how she can help parents Raise Champions.