Although youth sports is supposed to be a fun experience for you and your children, it’s inevitable that youth sports stress will creep in. After all, competition comes with pressure and that pressure affects sports parents in a multitude of ways.

What stresses you out about youth sports? The busy-ness? The coaching conflicts? The drama?

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Those are definitely reasons to feel stress, but I think if parents would start looking inward for answers to their stress, instead of blaming something on the outside, they would get to the heart of the problem. Let’s dig in and talk about the 3 reasons you are REALLY feeling stress about youth sports and how to handle it.

1. You are trapped in the busy-ness

Once you start signing your kids up for sports teams and other activities, the busy-ness can start to snowball, and you find yourself saying yes to more things than you actually have time to do. This results in scheduling conflicts, no family time, pressure to get things done at home and at work, and tiredness on top of it all that makes you irritable and unable to fully enjoy the season.

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When you are feeling this kind of stress, it affects your mood and how you treat others: the coach, your children, other parents, and your spouse.

The way to get un-trapped is simple: Start prioritizing your commitments and learn to say no.

2. You are focused on short-term results

It’s easy as sports parents to get wrapped up in the next game, the current week, this season only. It’s funny how we often complain that kids want things immediately, because I think many parents are doing the same thing and setting that example for them. You want your child to get more playing time NOW. To score more points NOW. To get recognition NOW. Win the game NOW.

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Parents who are always focused on short-term results will get easily frustrated because your children’s development and growth in youth sports is a journey. It’s a process. It’s bigger than one season, one coach, one camp or clinic. Your child will grow and learn and improve over time. During that process, they will become stronger in skills and in character. It all takes time, and when you are in a hurry and are looking for immediate results, you will find yourself getting more and more frustrated, leading to feelings of stress.

3. You are not listening to your child’s desires and dreams

When was the last time you asked your children how they felt about playing that sport? Or what their dreams are for the future in that sport?

It may be that once upon a time, your children loved playing football and they were good, so you became their biggest cheerleader and swept them along into private coaching and clinics. But then they got burned out because that’s all they were doing.

I’ve known players like that. They started out loving the sport and ended up quitting early because they were burned out. I have a feeling that if their parents had listened a little more closely to their child’s desires, they could have kept burnout from happening. Maybe they would have let their child try other sports too, or take a summer off from travel ball.

You may be frustrated because your athlete is really good, but just doesn’t seem to care anymore. You’re stressed because they just have to make the high school team, or play in college.

I would say this to you: Ask them. Ask them what their dreams are. What do they love about the sport? Do they even enjoy playing anymore? 

I honestly believe that parents feel more stress because they demand so much out of their athletes when their athletes don’t have anything left to give.

Janis B. Meredith is a parenting coach. She provides resources to help parents raise champions. Learn more about how she can help parents Raise Champions.