Does your athlete struggle with fear? Fear of failure? Fear of risk? Fear of not being good enough? It shows up in children without any warning and you wonder, "Where did that come from?"

All parents are vigilant. This is normal and necessary. But in some homes, children – young athletes for our conversation – are raised in a genuine climate of fear. Life is seen as one big threat that never ends. At any moment, something could go wrong, and it probably will.

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So how do you stop this spiral? How do you not raise your child in a climate of fear? Here are some keys to raising fearless children:

1. Oversee their intake of fearful information

There's so much bad stuff going on today and kids hear about most of it. They wonder about what might happen if someone starts shooting at their school or if a terrorist sets off a bomb at their local mall. And then there’s earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and war. These fears are real in today’s world.

Information can be a big burden for kids. When they're little, keep exposure to frightening things – movies, news, video games – at a minimum.

As they get older, that’s not realistic. This is when the communication you have with your kids is vital, so you can talk about their fears with them. You can answer their questions, not minimize their fears and be very aware of things that could cause them to be fearful. When you become aware of something that causes them to be fearful, don’t wait for them to bring it up. YOU broach the subject first, and even if they don’t want to talk about it, at least they know you're aware and open to talking about it. This invites them to bring it up when they're ready.

Are you the parent of a youth, middle school or high school football player who’s looking for more tips or resources? Check out our Parent Guide, Parents 101 course, nutritious recipes and more.

2. Keep your fears to yourself

As a sports mom, I had a ton of fears: "Will my child get hurt? What if my child doesn’t do well in this sport? What if they don’t get any playing time this game?" But sharing those fears with my kids would've put ideas in their heads, fears that may not have existed before I opened my big mouth.

Unless you're concerned about safety, don’t fill your child’s head with your fears. Make sure those fears are real concerns your child needs to know, such as stranger danger and not to text while driving, instead of your fears that are mere worries about things not turning out the way you want them to.

The trick is learning to distinguish the difference between what puts your child in actual danger and what simply makes you nervous. 

3. Get out of your child’s way

Let your athlete fail. Let them figure out how to solve their own problems. Let them figure things out on their own. Let them experiment with things that don’t work, so they can learn what does work. Encourage them to take risks when there's no danger so they can practice decision-making and conflict resolution.

And then, pat them on the back for their courage to try new things that may seem hard or scary.

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4. Show them how to tackle fears

There isn't just one way to handle fear. It depends on your child, and the situation they face. Your child doesn’t need a pat answer or a one-size-fits-all solution.

There may be times when the best way to deal with fear is to run head-on into it, and there'll be other times when fear should be defeated one small step at a time. For instance, if your child's afraid of trying out for a new team, encourage them to just take the leap. That’s not a challenge that can really be taken in baby steps.

On the other hand, if your child is fearful of sliding in softball or diving off a high dive, they can learn in increments. It’s good to talk over the stages of fear-tackling with them so they know what to expect.

5. Let them know failure is okay

I think fear of failure often haunted my kids as they played sports. As a parent, you must examine yourself to see if you're helping that fear to grow. Your kids need to know failure is normal and not fatal. It's an opportunity to learn.

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I’m not advocating that your kids never see you sweat. It’s okay for them to know their parents face fears, too.

Share fears about you or general fears, and then talk about how you're handling it, not fears that you have about them. Fears about a situation at work or seeing your parents get old, versus fears about them getting hurt in a game or not having a good season.

Parents don’t have to always appear fearless, but they should be cautious about the fears they do share.

Janis B. Meredith is a parenting coach. She provides resources to help parents raise champions. Learn more about how she can help parents Raise Champions.