I recently got an email from a mom who was frustrated that her daughter got cut from a team. She said how her daughter’s school volleyball coaches cut one girl last year and three this year, including her daughter.

She explained that she didn’t understand how schools claim to foster the development of good character in student athletes, yet send kids home upset because they can’t play a sport they love. This mom then asked for advice on what to do.

RELATED CONTENT:  Why Your Child's Team Should Have Core Values 

I told her I was sorry to hear that her daughter was cut, as that’s very hard for any child no matter the age. However, I shared how my daughter was also previously cut from a volleyball team and how that led her to try softball – which she played throughout high school, college and now coaches.

Cuts are hard, but they can work out in the long run. I told this mom that no matter what, remember to always encourage your child and remind them there’s always next year. I’ve actually known quite a few kids who took the disappointment of being cut and used that as motivation to improve and make the team the following year.

RELATED CONTENT:  Sports Parents, Do You Talk Too Much?

It’s also important to realize there are reasons that schools limit the size of their teams. Programs may need to make cuts in order to afford uniforms and travel. Other times, a child’s skill level is simply lower than the rest of the team and a coach would rather cut them then have them never play or get hurt trying to compete at a higher level.

So, how should you respond as parent of a cut child? Encourage your child to talk to the coach if it’s something they want to work at – tell them to ask the coach where they can improve to make the team next year. This situation is very hard on parents, but as adults we know these situations are how children grow and learn.

Coaches will be impressed if your child talks to them instead of you stepping in there. It can be hard, but your love and support will do more to help your child grow from this experience than if you fight for them to administrators or coaches.

Janis Meredith is a family coach who wants to help all parents raise champions. You can find out more at rcfamilies.com.