Not every youth football parent has a blog, so there are many parents who are predominantly fixated on their child during a game and that’s understandable. That’s not to say that parents don’t watch the entire game even if their child is not on the field at a given time, but their focus is on their child as expected.

For the most part, I’m the same way when my sons Bradley and Jared are playing games. My eyes are on them when they’re on the field, but because of the nature of what I do for a living as a sports reporter and with this blog in mind, I do my best to try and take in all aspects of the game. My eyes often wander to the sideline and the huddle to observe the coach and how the players are reacting.

This past Sunday, I was watching Bradley’s flag football game and I spent a lot of time watching his coach, who my family and I have known for years. We live in the same community and Bradley has been going to school with his son since Kindergarten. This is the first time that Bradley has played for him and it’s the first time that Bradley and the coach’s son have been teammates. To this point, it has been a wonderful experience for all parties involved. 

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At one point during Sunday’s game, I made an observation to my wife Sheryl about how impressed I was with his style of coaching. There was no yelling or screaming at the kids, but you could tell he had the kids’ attention at all times. Whether he was in the huddle calling the next play on offense or he was on the field with his arms crossed and watching the defense at work, this coach was the perfect example of how a youth football coach should operate.

I made a point to tell my wife that I could barely hear the coach at times during the game and that is a good thing. 

There were times when some of the players went up to him to discuss something and times when the coach went up to a player to put his arm around them to talk about something. He might be the coach, but he has also done a wonderful job in balancing the role of being both a coach and a friend to the kids. We’re talking about youth football with kids who are 11 and 12 years old. It’s not the NFL or college football and I appreciate the way this man has treated Bradley, as well as every child on the team through the first four weeks of the season. 

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This past summer, Bradley participated in the U.S. National Team Middle School Bowl Series in Canton and learned under college coaches from around the country for a whole week. I watched every snap of every practice and I can’t remember a moment where the coaches did any over the top screaming and yelling. They spoke to the kids like men and it certainly looked to me like the players listened and learned because of that. Each day, I asked Bradley about this observation and he agreed with me. He was both happy and honored to have played for these outstanding coaches. 

A coach needs to be stern at times but screaming and yelling doesn’t always get through to a child. I know there is a difference between flag football and tackle football, but Bradley is about to start his ninth season of tackle. We’ve experienced the entire spectrum of how coaches handle themselves at practice and a game.   There are times when it’s appropriate for a coach to scream and/or yell, like when a child keeps making the same mistake repeatedly, is disrespectful to a teammate or coach, or is just goofing off.

But a coach doesn’t have to always be in a child’s face and screaming his or her head off to get through to a child. Many times, just like at home, screaming goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe it’s different in high school, college and the professional ranks. At that point, perhaps screaming and yelling is what a player needs to be motivated at times. But in youth football, it shouldn’t be a common trait of a coach.

Many times, it’s more productive to watch and listen and then talk to your players with conviction and not with anger. Walking off the field on Sunday, I made this observation to Bradley about his coach and he responded with a smile and told me how much he loves playing for him. He’s said that in the past about coaches he’s had in tackle football, even the ones that screamed and yelled, but there was something different about this response. You can tell how much Bradley, as well as the other players and parents, appreciates how this coach operates.  

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There’s a difference between raising your voice in the heat of battle during a game and just flat out yelling and screaming for no reason. All youth football coaches should take a step back and consider this and how it’s best to get through to a child. 

Peter is a sports anchor for the CBS Sports Radio Network, FOX News Headlines 24/7 and WCBS 880 Radio in New York.  His son Bradley is playing middle school football and flag football on Long Island while his younger son Jared plays flag football.   Peter, his wife Sheryl and the boys are busy cheering on the New York Jets when they’re not at a youth football field.